ministry is bad for you?

A psychology survey at Fuller says that:

80% of pastors say that ministry has negatively affected their family

50% say they can not meet the demands of ministry

90% say they have been inadequately prepared for ministry

70% say they do not have a close personal friend

70% say they have a lower self esteem than when they started in ministry

37% say they have been involved inappropriately with someone in their church

70% get 7 hours of sleep or less per night ie sleep deprived
(link)
Among the priests and ministers I know I can think of some who do, and others who do not fit this description. I recognise a hundred and one reasons why these things DO happen - many of them not unique to ministry, but to all kinds of high-pressure jobs in our unhealthy work culture. The belief that we are indispensible is at first seductive, and later destructive, especially when it's apparently  authenticated by divine command.  I also can think of a hundred   and one things the average priest could do NOT to give in to this stuff, and a hundred and one ways the average congregation could better support their priest and her (or his) family. Living off-site would be a good place to start. Proper working hours and decent pay would help no end. Even Jesus found there wasn't enough of him to go round.The freedom to differentiate between having close personal friends and being a "friend-to-everyone" is absolutely essential to your sanity (again, there are hints that Jesus maintained some close personal friends depsite the pressure to be everything to everyone.)

We should pray for our priests/ministers; we should mend those bits of "the system" that need fixing; we should take the pressure off one another and learn a great deal more about being a community of priests. But in addition, those among us who are priests or ministers of one kind and another should take charge of our own lives - it's not all the system's fault. Just switch off your phone once in a while.

Comments

[K]

I think some real research needs doing in this area. Over the Christmas table we had a discussion as a family about this, and tried to think of a vicar family that HADN'T had one of the children suffer some form of serious illness. We couldn't think of one.

Most common ailements seem to centre around either energy or the guts:

ME | Anorexia | Bulemia | IBS | Depression

Thinking about our own background as a vicar family (anorexia in our case) and in particular the charismatic evangelical roots, we began to wonder if the culture of such churches, in higher concentration within the 'parish family', made children in some way 'retentive'... With their houses constantly invaded by meetings, and with a perceived need to be 'holier than though', it appears some take control in the only way they can through their eating, others bottle all the anxiety up and feel they can't live up to it, thus producing gut problems, and others just 'press escape' into ME etc.

I appreciate this is a pop theory, purely based on the subjective evidence of discussions we've had... But I'm convinced that there needs to be some proper research into this...

Other perspectives?

[maggi]

I agree there needs to be proper research, K, and I would like to see the issue of tied housing seriously addressed - it's bad for the Vicar as well as her family. I am v. happy indeed that although my housing is tied to my job, it's ten minutes walk "off-site" and I have an office at work. It's very healthy indeed for my son, who doesn't have his home invaded constantly by unexpected visitors.

On a slightly brighter note, I do know plenty of vicars whose kids have not been sick or rententive - so there obviously is the possibility of working things out in a good way. But one would hope that could be the norm, not the exception.

[Caroline]

Some random thoughts:

1) sorry for the times when I've dumped on vicars

2) I wonder if a blog helps in creating a perspective outside the immediate 'job' or context?

3) if people do do research can I encourage Action Research where people experiment with new ways of being a priest/minister/pastor? Preferably work with a group to reflect on value of new practices.

4) Have I said sorry for the times I've expected too much of my vicar?

[maggi]

nice comment carolyn. I still think though that a good deal of the responsibility has to lie with the Vicar (and, indeed, those who select, train and support her (or him)) to place the boundaries. How is anyone to know that this is actually your time off if you don't tell them? - again, this ties into the tied house thing. If you have an office, and you're not there, people come back later. if you work at home, you're "in the office" when really you should be having time off.

[Humble Secretary]

Marvellous! The idea of having an office which is not tied to the home is very sensible. The days when I hung round churches I know that I felt incredibly uncomfortable visiting the priest in his / her domain - and so largely didn't. I guess this is part of the business ethic which has grown into me over the years - that there is an appropriate place for meetings. I used to feel mighty uncomfortable imposing on them in their home and especially for the families and so would stay well clear.

Thank you to those clergy and their families who showed me hospitality along the way.

[Hugh (Serena's Dad)]

Years ago I heard a minister say that our responsibilities are to 1) God, 2) our families, 3) the church and 4) our jobs. This applies as much to ministers as anyone else. The relationship within the family should reflect the relationship within the Godhead. The family realtionship should then be reflected in the church and the job, even as a minister, should support not displace these relationships. I know this may be simplistic and won't fit every situation but at least it's a good starting point.

[Kathryn]

Oh help!
Being just a humble curate, I've not been in the job long enough for anything except the seductive attractions of being needed to strike personal bells, and I'm rather hoping that coming into fulltime ministry when my children are nearly grown might protect them from the worst pressures and their consequences.
I would certainly agree 100% that preparation for ministry is not adequate, though its hard to imagine what could really prepare you...much like "parentcraft" classes, which leave you totally unready for the reality of a baby.
Certainly I struggle with boundaries of work/personal time, though at the moment I think that the church probably doesn't get as much of me as it should, rather than the other way around.
As for friendships, I'm happy to buck the trend here...I'm blessed with an essential collection of good friends, without whom I certainly couldn't function. Some of them were originally virtual...:-)

[K]

I'm glad there are some positive examples! Of course there are... it's just we couldn't think of any, which was genuinely worrying.

I think the boundaries issue is key: if they are not set properly, children in particular will create ways of setting their own, and this may be part explanation for some of the things I outlined above.

I also think there has been a particular problem among those who spear-headed the evangelical renewal movement in the 70s/80s... As RS Thomas wrote "They chose their pastors like they chose their horses: for their hard work." I think there was a particular problem with poor work/life balance in those times.

I was chatting to a friend from a 'renewed wing' about this the other day, who suggested it was more likely that leaders would come 'under attack'. Connecting to the thoughts on prayer you've mentioned recently, I suggested that that was a worrying perspective: was Christ not listening to the prayers to protect these people? Or was He just allowing them to be 'attacked' in this way....

Tricky issues...

[Caroline]

Maggi

I agree with you that much of this is down to the minister, but that is the point of my comments about Action Research.

I'm involved in helping managers develop into the practice of their jobs and I've longed to help ministers do the same.

The use of various reflective learning practices, the exploring of 'maybes' an experimenting with possibilities all within a community of people who care enough to challenge and change themselves is, I think crucial here.

My experience suggests that just knowing what you should do isn't helpful. There's always some best practice around that beats us up, we don't just suddenly change from one way of practice to another, we have to make it work in our context, and that needs experiment and consideration (in both senses of the word)

I think that it's called discipleship

sorry, this is becoming a lecture :-0 I'll rush away now before I get into my stride! :-)

be encouraged
Caroline

[Jason]

I believe that this sort of "burnout" can happen all to often, and I agree that more research is needed. However, I would also say that ministers/pastors and even lay leaders in the church could benefit from more internal and external preparation towards the ministry. As I begin to prepare for doctoral work in the coming years, the question I keep asking myself is "how was I formed as a minister, and how much of that was taught at seminary?" I am less concerned with what I was taught than how I was prepared...

In the midst of my own transformation following seminary, several things were of help:

- my blog that I use as a form of therapuetic writing
- my therapist that I use to gain some perspective on life and its challenges
- a really good minister friend that helps me laugh and live and love life as if there is no tomorrow
- living in the present moment as best I can and realizing that people in the church are not all healthy and it is no reflection on me or my ministry
- a good set of mentors who I can lean on to help when times are tough
- and many other things I am still in the process of processing

grace and peace

[Christopher Shell]

Some possible keys:

(1) Leslie Francis did psychology research that strongly suggested that extroverts function better as church-leaders. Also, one would never recommend selecting workaholics unless their motivation & energy were first-rate, as depression could then be on the cards.

(2) Teamwork and delegation is critical, as most have now realised. Easier said than done in many cases.

(3) Being in an exposed/public job is intrinsically stressful for you and your family - a bit like being a celeb. So when considering such a vocation, best to look before you leap.
-Also, pressure of 'keeping up an image' may be felt by some (though this applies to many jobs) with resultant guilt at not living up to the image, & polarisation of the image & the reality. Honesty is the best policy I guess.

(4) Headaches that are no-one's fault - e.g. church fabric, various financial matters - need to be factored in.

(5) Flexibility of schedule is a peculiar challenge, producing overwork in some and underwork in others. Impossible to tally up precisely 40 hours' work. What is work and what isnt?

(6) The stats that have stunned me most were two: the sheer level of clergy stress & depression; & the strong correlation between prayer and church growth. Maybe vicars are called to a life of prayer and delegation (dream on). The ministry comes second of all professions for job satisfaction in a survey published today, but still polled only 24% (hairdressers 40%). Then again, maybe ingratitude is a sin.

[rob]

there's been some quite interesting research into what makes us satisfied and fulfilled at work - motivators are things like achievement, recognition, responsibility and advancement; dissatisfiers are things like poor admin, no supervision, poor salary and bad working conditions.

most pastors seem to have to manage with little praise, no job prospects (other than leaving the church and this is seen negatively), no promotion (except leaving...) poor salaries and offices and too much of the wrong sort of responsibility. no wonder they are stressed. it's time we started giving pastors decent salaries and working conditions and praise and not pretending it's all a sacrifice for the kingdom.

also, as a psychiatrist, i note the list of illnesses with interest - ME, anorexia and IBS can often be bodily manifestations of stress. i wonder if these are the illnesses pastors get since they must be seen to be strong and mental health problems are not discussed in the british church. maybe silent depression could be added to the list.

rob

[sadordinand]

yes, silent depression has assailed me since I read this earlier today. I haven't even finished training yet, and I could already say yes to most if not all of the factors Maggi listed from the survey- added to which, I'm a confirmed introvert with workaholic tendencies, as are many of the clergy I know (including several of those directly responsible for my training!) What am I to do?

[Caroline]

Dear Sadordinand,

Please remember that:

a) 83.6% of statisitics are made up on the spot

b) Introversion/extroversion was a figment of Eysenk's research method

c) Workaholic? It's Friday, with West Wing and Gardener's Word! Whoopppeeee (sorry, sad middle aged woman tendency here)

d) and

which is the best of all ...

God's real chuffed that you're hanging out at his place just now!

[maggi]

hear, hear, Caroline! Don't be depressed by the statistics - take it as an instruction from on high to turn off the phone, hand in an "it will do" essay from time to time, and get out there to the movies/rugby field/whatever chills you out. Happy weekend!

[dave paisley]

Not that it invalidates the discussion in any way, but I believe those stats are from an early 1980s Ph.D. thesis. Somebody else blogged them recently, but darned if I can remember where or if they'll come up in google.

If I can find the original cite I'll post it.

[dave paisley]

Here's a link that references a 1991 survey:
http://www.smallchurch.com/rprisk.htm

Also, this media summary from Fuller itself cites a newspaper reference back to an original 1984 survey (just past half way down the page - search for "survey")

http://www.fuller.edu/news/html/media%20summary%20june%202002.asp

If anything the numbers today would probably be worse...

[rhys]

Can I jsut push my 10 commandments for the clergy again -
10 commandments for the clergy !

Love God, and say rot the church regularly.
Read thy Bible - but have a thriller on the go.
Pray and decide what doesn't have to be done now
Visit the needy parishoners to find which ones cheer you up
Thou shalt not read R.S. Thomas except when feeling very cheerful
Do your sermon on Monday and play with the kids
Plan ahead - including time for a sexy night out with spouse
Order your priorities and Plan your days off and holidays
Guilt is produced by the devil.....( the accuser of the brethren....) - so shove him in the ditch.
Give yourself a break or you will break

and maybe the golden rule
Sleep, pray, work a 40 hour week.

and try a job swap with
a)a call centre operator or childminder or whatever and then count your blessings

[Gordon]

Happy to say that I find myself in the minority of the stats (apart from the inappropriate involvement!). The privilege of family involvement that ministry affords me is something that I hope I never will take for granted.

This was sent me several years back...

Some people in the church have a ‘job’; whilst others involve themselves in a ‘ministry’. So, what’s the difference?

“If you are doing it because no one else will”, the article said, “it’s a ‘job’. If you are doing it to serve the Lord it’s a ‘ministry’”.

If you want to quit because somebody criticised you, it’s a ‘job’. If you keep on serving, it’s a ‘ministry’.

If you’ll do it only as long as it does not interfere with the rest of your life it’s a ‘job’. If you are committed to staying with it even when it means letting go of other things, it is a ‘ministry’.

If you want to quit because no one praised you or thanked you, it is a ‘job’. If you stay with it even though nobody recognised your efforts, it is a ‘ministry’.

If our concern is success, it’s a ‘job’. If our concern is faithfulness, it’s a ‘ministry’.

It’s hard to get excited about a ‘job’. It’s almost impossible not to be excited about a ‘ministry’.

If God has called us to a ministry we must be careful that we don’t devalue it and treat it as a ‘job’, for God does not want us feeling stuck with a ‘job’, but excited and faithful to Him in ‘ministry’.

Sorry if it is of no help to anyone!

[Paul]

Read your blog on a daily basis, Maggi, but have never contributed before. Is this an early symptom of a worrying lack of workaholicism!?!

I have to say that, as a newly-ordained person - 20 months as a CofE Curate thus far - I keep on having to pinch myself to believe that it is for real. Like your last contributor, I tend to take the view that ministry is a huge privilege. Sure, we tread the line of difficult boundaries, but that is where we are called to be as pastors and priests. In the meanwhile, I get to spend lots of quality time playing and chatting with my kids - aged 4,3 and 1 month! - which I just knew I couldn't have done in my former profession as a university lecturer (and department head). I explicitly chose to train for and enter the ministry at the time my wife and I decided to build a family, as the two things seemed so very complementary. As I look around me at the people I now serve in my parish, I would say that we (as a family) have a privilege (NOT an incumbent duty (more guilt-stuff if you go that way!) to model this pattern. Most of those folk have it far tougher than us.

I am told by others that I have a large capacity for work. I have to say that it arises out of enthusiasm and the integration of what I do with who I am, and it always has. I suspect that part of the 'fullness of life' Our Lord reveals is to do with this creative, shared energy.

[drmoose]

I was ordained 5 years ago, and I remember thinking how great it was to be a curate in the first year of ministry. And then the pressure piled on. I have never really counted the hours, beacuse for me the question of distinguishing "wok" from "non-work" is almost unanswerable.
Am I, by engaging in theolgical reflection and contribution to this comment column, engaging in work right now? You tell me.
Maybe the biggest problem we face is that so often we have to make our own decisions about what is "too much" or "too little" work.
For the past 15 months or so I've been a mission-priest with near zero on-site backup, no church councils, no "traditions", no church building, and while there are those days that I wonder why I bother, more foten the not I feel that I have such a tremendous privelege to simply "be" here. To build the contacts, to help the community grow. I'm already wondering why I would ever want to go back to a convential parish.
Did college train me for this? No. Did my curacy? Not really, but this is what we should be about.
Ultimately each of us has to police ourselves. Others can help, but at the end of the day I am the only person who can say "no", and stop.
Does that make sense?

[andii]

If I could reproduce a few sentences from a blog comment of my own -this being an area of concern for me because of seeing the effects in my own life and other clergy- So here's a plea for making it different.
"All too often the church fails to be humane. We need to learn to make sure that the sabbath or any other institution is made for human beings not the other way round [to paraphrase Christ and extend the principle somewhat. So this means not having guilt-driven ministries, or structures that suck the energy from creative and already overworked people. It means leadership ministry that has the time and ability to be people-centred within a God-centred framework and that therefore enables rather than disables the gifts and calling of the body of Christ. This involves far more flexibility of structuring and legal framework.
Sabbathing. By which I mean that we don't regard rest as an optional extra but as part of the essence of ministry. We run a system that seems to imply that our collective fear is that people will be lazy; when in actual fact the real issue we face is workaholism and burn-out. I want to see a church where those in paid ministry don't end up as cynical and tired place-holders in their fifties but remain creative and energised ministers who are able to synthesise their expereince into wisdom and even if less energetic than in their thirties, are able to work smarter if not harder. I want to see clergy who are fun to be with and humane themselves not brittle and testy as a result of feeling guilty for all they cannot do."
From: http://nouslife.blogspot.com/2004/11/reenvisaging-cofe-1.html

[andii]

Oh, and I think to achieve this we need to do more than tweak the structures. Unfortunately I suspect that in order for change to happen there will have to be wholesale collapses of people and system. This is because right now the people with the power to effect change are so worried about money and related institutional collapse that they are willing to pay the bills in lives.

Sorry to be cynical but it seems to be what happened to me. The really concerning thing is to find at one interview I had for a senior post that I probably blew getting the job because I saked a question of the tacit expectation of a 60 hour week being worked and implicitly rebuked them for [a] expecting it and [b] not being prepared to rethink given that we should be modelling life balance not acceding to the worst habits of the culture around us.