Third day of Christmas: New Year Resolutions

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you will be aware that my view on religious vows, Lent and other kinds of religious fasts, is that they have declined in effectiveness by becoming focussed on the negative. 'I will give up smoking/eating too much/swearing/shouting at the kids/.. etc.' is an attempt at self-improvement by giving up, or negating, certain habits or behaviours. It may well be the case that some things are in need of correction, but they are far more likely to be effectively dealt with if the fast or vow is made in a positive way.

It's not that a positive vow is easier to keep, as such. But there is something theologically poisonous about negative vows. If we persuade ourselves that at heart God is the one who us from doing everything we are inclined towrads, and that holiness is about NOT enjoying ourselves but being worthy, then we do God a terrible injustice. The practical result might be identical. But the theological implications are profound.

'I will give up chocolate, sex, smoking, and getting drunk... ' = God is a killjoy, who frowns on fun and never intended us to enjoy life.

'I will eat oven roasted vegetables, cut down the stress, laugh more often, and find ways of relaxing and having fun that won't make me ill...' = God is life affirming, and wants us to enjoy life to the full.

Read on for some positive resolutions I've made in the past/might make again/have suggested to others who need some inspiration:

I will make time once a week to pursue the art/music/writing/building/ decorating/sporting/etc project I've always meant to do.

I will sip one glass of high-quality wine, and take the time to taste it properly, instead of a whole bottle of cheap plonk.

I will learn to cook entire meals out of vegetables I have never even heard of...

I will try out ten kinds of exercise I've never done before to see what is the most fun.

I will join/organise a group of people to do some philanthropic project that really interests me, instead of doing charity-by-guilt.

I will spend 30 minutes two or three times a week investing time and effort into friendships that I normally allow to drift. (A card, a phone call, an e-mail, a conversation or a visit... )

... etc. Please add your own suggestions.

Comments

[Tim Bednar]

Maggi, I love this--oh, by the way, the series of emails we exchanged about 3 months ago now had a PROFOUND effect on my life, gave me permission to relax when it came to church. Thanks.

[maggi]

Tim, that's so nice to hear. Happy new year - hope 2005 is a good one for you.

[Stephen Garner]

Thanks for that Maggi. Timely thoughts. I'm preaching in a week or two on New Year's resolutions and Micah 6.8 - trying to bring out the sense of resolutions that are life-giving for others not just individually focused ones that become oppressive or self-centred. I may "borrow" some of your ideas (names changed to protext the innocent :-) )and work them in with my own thoughts.

[Serena]

I will say "thank you" and mean it.

[sky]

Agree with you that many have actually made "negative vows" and at the same time put God in a box. Thanks for your input, I have yet to thank God for what I have set for 2004

[Joanna]

Thank you for this post.

[Humble Secretary]

I will buy myself really nice bath stuff (molton brown is my favourite) rather than the 99p stuff from Sainsburys - and indulge in a bath with candles adorning the room. My body is a temple.

positive resolutions are such a good thought.

[danny]

i like the idea for new year resolutions, but believe negative vows are good for religious fasts. for example, if i say "i will not eat dessert for lent" then i am actually saying that chocolate and candy and sweets are incredibly good things, and the fasting period increases my appreciation for just how good these things are. so negative vows may not necessarily be so theologically poisonous.

[maggi]

That's a good point, Danny. Whether you read such a thing in a positive or negative light depends, I think, on how you understand the tradition. There are lots of things that seem positive from within an informed understanding of the Christian tradition that don't translate at all well to people who are new to it. (I spend quite a bit of time thinking about how the meaning of what we do turns itself into something else when someone outside the tradition "reads" it.) But, yes, I think you are right about this in its own terms - giving something up temporarily could be affirmative rather than negative.

[Susan]

Loved your post on the positive rather than the negative vows. I'd like to share some thoughts on a philanthropic project. Maybe we can do something together? A cord of two or three is much stronger than a single strand. Good luck for the New Year. Pondering my own goals and aspirations for the upcoming year.